FAQ Number 1

How do you make sure your child care provider is developing, not destroying your child?

We all remember the teacher who told us we were stupid, or not good enough, in fact for many of us, those memories still haunt and impede us to this day. When I was in second grade I remember like it was yesterday, the teacher stood in front of the class and said, “We are all going to practice cursive, while Kristin practices printing, because she cannot print her letters properly.” However, I also have vivid memories of when I was four and I wanted a doll terribly that my parents could not afford, but my mother said that I could earn the doll. With her help and guidance I did earn the doll, just like with her help and guidance, I learned to read and print properly (I still print mostly everything to this day). We later found out that I was not stupid, but dyslexic. Through all of this my mother believed in me, constantly undoing the damage and destruction done by my teachers at school each day as she coached and supported and believed in my success until, I had the skills she always knew I would learn. Had I been left to the school system alone and not had my mother, I would have been a drop out, never learned to read or write. From that time in second grade, I knew I did not want other children to experience the degradation I experienced in school.

PALS carries within it a passion for excellence in bringing out each child’s inherent gifts. We believe in coaching and teaching and believing in children through the hard stuff til they get it right. This passion is borne of the experience of knowing that we all learn better when we are in a relaxed loving, nurturing, and supportive environment. PALS exceeds the state standards for annual teacher training by a factor of 2, because we believe that teachers need to have the best training in order to be prepared and able to handle any situation in the classroom in a loving and supportive way. PALS knows people will teach the way they have been taught, so PALS is a loving, nurturing, supportive place to work. You are welcome to see this in action at any time either by watching the classroom monitors in the office or visiting your childs classroom. PALS doors are always open.

“Scientists now know that the human brain is undergoing a constant and dramatic transformation in the first years of life. During this peak time of development, every activity and experience leaves an indelible mark on your baby’s brain, for better or for worse.” - Raise a Smarter Child by Kindergarten by: Dr. David Pearlmutter

There are beliefs about ourselves and the word around us that dictate whether we will try new things, take risks or not, achieve all we can in life or not. There are discipline techniques that enhance brain growth and increase a child’s ability to resolve conflict, and there are discipline methods that do not. A study was done that analyzed and surveyed people from all walks of life and it examined their ability to resolve conflict. From convicts to captains of industry participants were give different types of conflict and asked how they would solve those conflicts, unanimously and uniformly, the respondents on the lower end of the socioeconomic scale used violence as their first and sometimes only means of resolution. Whereas captains of industry and those most successful, had multiple options, none of which included violence.

When we are scared or insecure, the brain goes into “fight or flight mode”. This happens when someone pushes the wrong button, or when we are faced with a life or death situation. In this mode we are reactionary, we “lose control”. Once we move out of this scared place, the brain moves into our limbic system which governs our emotions, and finally, once we know we are loved and nurtured,  the cerebral cortex takes over. The cerebral cortex is  where we are able to be in a safe enough and loved enough place where we have control and can choose our actions and respond the way we want to rather than react. Adult brains can rationally (sometimes) move up to the cerebral cortex and make good decision even when faced with life or death situations; however,.because childrens’ brains are not fully developed, it is our job to use discipline situations as an opportunity to show children that there are boundaries and that they are safe within those boundaries, and that no matter what they are loved. Through this process, we help the cerebral cortex develop into the dominant driver when it comes to conflict resolution in life.

The most important aspect of all of this is not as much what we teach, but how we teach it. I do an exercise with audiences where I ask them to think of a time when they were successful in school or work or at learning something new, and to list the conditions which were present. Then I ask participants to also think of a time when they did not learn and failed, and to list the conditions which were present. If you take the time to do this, you will notice that the conditions that are present for learning to occur, are all positive, that is that you must be relaxed and feel safe in order to learn. Therefore, our primary responsibility at PALS is to keep your child safe and make sure that they feel safe so that learning can occur. We use the tools of Conscious Discipline developed by Dr. Becky Bailey in order to do this. Dr. Bailey says that every behavior is either an act of love or a cry for love. Every PALS teacher has been and is continually trained in this culture of love for children and we are constantly seeking ways to reinforce this culture of safety and love for your child in everything we do.